Notes from the Mother of the Bride, Part One

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, we decided it would be wonderful to speak to a real-life Mother of the Bride to hear their take on their daughter’s wedding day.

Last October we worked with a beautiful couple called Lizzy and Jack and, of course, their lovely parents! So often in our work we get to know the whole family, and for one weekend become an extension of that family, so it’s no surprise we develop amazing bonds with them all. Lizzy & Jack’s family were no exception to this, the wedding took place as Jack’s parents home in Suffolk and Lizzy’s parents planned so much of the day with Lizzy, and even made her wedding dress!

So when we decided to do a special feature on MoBs, we instantly thought of Lizzy & Jack…or more specifically, Lizzy’s mother, Penny. (wedding dress maker extraordinaire!) Here’s what Penny had to say when we caught up….

Penny, you made Lizzy’s beautiful wedding dress, and did an amazing job! How and Why did you decide to make her dress?

Elizabeth had always talked about me making her dress, my mum had made mine.

When we started looking a styles and arranging appointments in various wedding shops I did keep saying ‘if you find your dream dress I’ll Buy It!’ Elizabeth loved a Pronovias & a Suzanne Neville dress and if they could have been restyled together that might have been the dream dress! Elizabeth had always said that she wanted something completely unique so a handmade, self-designed dress was inevitable..

Elizabeth now had a design in mind & an idea about the fabric that she liked. She created a drawing front and back and that’s how we got started! Her design was simple elegance, a sleeveless sheath/column dress, with a bateau neckline, beautiful hand sequined and beaded guipure lace open back & cathedral length train. Made in a crepe fabric that was easy for Elizabeth to move in and behaved beautifully.

A simple soft cathedral length veil finished with some of the lace motifs framed the elegance of the dress beautifully. I made various mock ups of the dress in some amazing malleable pattern paper that I sourced online. That was then translated into a muslin version from which I cut the main fabric pieces of the dress. The lace back was constructed in a similar way with the pattern paper. I made a variety of versions of the inner bodice from corset material to power mesh, we had laughed about the Madonna style pointed cups that appeared after a late night sewing session! Eventually I cracked it! I had one nightmare moment with some pink tacking thread that left a mark on the centre neckline of the dress, luckily I had more than enough fabric to cut a second front, the pink thread was banished and I only tacked in cream.

Penny’s Drawing of her dress design

Elizabeth’s dress was a great reason to buy an Overlocker something that I had wanted for a while, it made light work of all the seam finishes and made the hemming of the dress and train almost a five minute job. It has earned its money that’s for sure. Thanks to Franklins haberdashery shop in Ipswich I now have a invisible zip presser foot, no mean feet (excuse the pun) for a sewing machine that’s as old as mine. OMG what a revelation that was, the zip just disappeared into the fabric.

It was a massive privilege to be asked, a huge compliment that Elizabeth thought I could do it. I was able to add some very personal touches into the dress that wouldn’t have been possible with a shop bought dress; a label made from one of my mum’s blue and white hankies, a lock of Elizabeth’s dogs fur, some fabric from my wedding dress. The truth is that we both made the dress, I did the stitching and Elizabeth made all the intricate design decisions, and there were many, – where should the lace go? which sequins and beads to use? where to place them, neckline shape and many more. It was unique!

It was an enormous personal challenge; I had to believe in myself, ‘fail fast and move on’ became a bit of a mantra. The hidden tears and panic gave way to beaming smiles of huge pride and a massive sense of achievement as the most elegant and beautiful young lady, my daughter, stood in church on her wedding day in the dress MoB Blog that we had made together. My Mum was with me for every stitch, watching over me in the early hours of the mornings and inspiring me to keep going and not to panic!

Making a dress seems impossible to me, let alone a wedding dress! Had you done anything similar before?

Yes and no!
I’ve always sewn, a talent shared & nurtured by my mum, we lived in a house of sewing machines, fabric and something always being made, started and sometimes finished!

I helped Mum make my wedding & bridesmaids dresses 30+ years ago. I helped with my twin sister’s wedding and bridesmaids’ dresses and I was in charge of the skirt on my younger sister’s dress. I think over the years I have made 2 other wedding dresses, a collection of bridesmaid’s dresses for family & friends, I made a christening gown from a wedding dress, a beautiful way to create a family heirloom. I haven’t ever made a dress without a manufactured pattern and just from a drawing. Drafting the pattern and making up the construction was definitely the most complicated part, I would love to have some professional tutoring to develop these skills. I found some help on YouTube, in a few books and plenty of trial and error!

Would you do it again?

Elizabeth’s dress was unique and so very special it can’t be repeated.

Never say never! One of Elizabeth’s bridesmaids is getting married in May and I am doing the alterations for all her dresses. I might for family and friends, as a special request, but I don’t think that I would be able to charge a handmade wedding dress price.

This is such a lovely thing to do, did you find the process brought you together?

We are already pretty close which was a big bonus and helped enormously.

We had some giggles mostly about the shape of Elizabeth’s boobs & some lovely days out with my twin sister to source material. It became quite a challenge to construct the inner bodice structure of the dress as we couldn’t find lingerie that was low cut at the back and would fit Elizabeth’s side hanging boobs!

It really was a joint effort we made the dress together; Elizabeth made all the detailed decisions, she saw every element of how the dress was made, we had decision overload some days! At times I felt like I was in the Elves and the Shoemaker story; a new version of some part of the dress appearing the next day after a late evening fitting the previous day.

What is your one key piece of advice to other Mothers of the Bride?

Be understanding, supportive, offer gentle encouragement & a listening ear (you don’t need to fix everything), lots of hugs, cups of tea or glasses of prosecco!
The stresses and strains come from everywhere, try not to make yourself one of them. It’s about your daughter and her partner and making the most special memories of their wedding day.

IMAGES BY EMILY FAE PHOTOGRAPHY

On that fabulous note, we’re going to hit pause there and continue in our next blog. See you then!

TWP x